Resist Nothing♥

 The upcoming full moon has been pulling at me the last couple of days, becoming stronger each day. I'm actually quite sick today so had to pay so I could take the day off from my work trade. I was thinking that I didn't like feeling so sick and weak and how it wasn't fair, but then I got a chance to look at it from a different perspective. Maybe this is a gift. Actually, I really think it is, as all struggles are. It gives me a chance to be still and silent, to observe and enjoy my time of rest. How could that be a bad thing? All of my problems(and I imagine many other people's as well) are just resistance to what is. 

RESIST NOTHING

This is one of my biggest lessons while being here. If I can just be open to all possibilities then peace is inevitable. Just the other night I was awake in bed for hours, consumed by an intense pain in my stomach and intestines. I was to a point where I was going to try to find someone to drive me to the hospital when a thought hit me. "Why are you resisting this pain?". I realized that my whole body was rigid and tight, like how someone cowers and stiffens if they see someone about to hit them. I told myself it was safe to let go and to just experience this pain, so I did. Immediately, the pain became so much duller. It wasn't gone, but it didn't bother me anymore. It was more interesting than anything else. Within minutes I drifted into a peaceful sleep and didn't wake until sunrise. It was a very powerful experience for me, and I hope I can bring this lesson into all aspects of my life. 

Yesterday I took the bus along the coast again, and being near Kapoho and Kalapana immediately lifted my spirits. There was a strong nurturing energy there, and the sunshine and enveloping jungle held me in a state of grace all along the coast. It was then that I decided I would not settle. Yes, there are other places on this island which are cheaper to live, where there's less sun, more rain, cooler temperatures, less friendly people, and lower vibrations, and it would be ok there. But I don't want ok. I want my dream, and now that I've found where I belong I don't think I can settle anymore. It may take time and a lot of hard work, but it will happen, and dreaming about it is a beautiful thing.

So I spend my time dreaming as I rest and heal. I see myself in the sunshine, so at peace and healthy. I'm at a place I call home, with a tiny hut, very simple, with just a super cozy bed inside and some books. I'm in the most healing and nurturing place I can invision, with many close friends living nearby. Outside my hut there are more fruit trees than you can imagine. Durians are falling everywhere for me to share with all my fruitarian friends. There are always many varieties of fruit falling from the trees, much more than I can eat, so I give it away to people who need it. It brings so much satisfaction to care for the earth and to learn from nature. This is the dream that sleeps in my mind, waking throughout the day and night, filling me with inspiration.