Fasting-The Time is Now

The Abundance of Life!

I'm currently nearing the end of my second day of water fasting. I plan to go without food for 21 days. Those of you who have been reading my blog know that I have been planning this for a very long time. I have had what the doctor said was colitis for over a year now. I've had major digestive problems, including bleeding, indigestion, severe acidosis, and at times, intense pain. I have also had terrible migraine headaches, rapid heartbeat, shakiness, dizziness, and have been incredibly weak. Overall, I have just felt deep inside that something is majorly wrong in my body. I knew I needed to fast. Almost every time I ate my body fiercely rejected the food, even if it was as simple as a mono meal of melon. I was afraid to fast though, but not so much for the reasons you might expect. Everyone keeps telling me that doing a 3 week fast without supervision is extremely risky and should not be attempted, but I have no doubts about my body's ability to heal itself. I'm a hygienist so I don't believe in super foods, or anything outside of myself to do this healing work. I know that the body can work most efficiently when it isn't being burdened with the extremely exhaustive task of digesting food. My concern lies first of all with the weight loss that will inevitably occur. I'm not worried about starving to death as I know I have plenty of fat reserves to carry out this fast( I weighed myself the other day and was 108 pounds), but I do have a past with eating disorders and I'm a little nervous that going to such a low weight will trigger me into a relapse. To be honest though, even that isn't really on my mind. I feel like my journey in this life is beyond that now. My other biggest hesitancy with fasting was the fact that I knew it would require me to face all my emotional issues. I, like a lot of people, have used eating as a distraction for most of my life. Eating heavy foods especially, can use up so much digestive energy that it is literally impossible to go through any deep emotional experience. Even eating only fruit can be used in this way, to a much lesser degree. Any time I have fasted in the past, it has been like all my emotional pain, and any traumatic memories, have been brought directly to the surface. I wasn't sure if I was ready for that, and I kept putting this fast into the future, coming up with reasons not to do it. I did fast for two days while in Hawaii, but I stopped, feeling right away that it wasn't right. 
Now is different though. I am so extremely fortunate to have been blessed with the perfect environment to fast. I live in a peaceful apartment with my amazing boyfriend here to supervise, and support me. There is nothing I need to do, and I can spend my days reading, listening to music, painting and taking naps. There are no stresses about going places to buy food, or finding a place to live. I can just be here and allow this healing to take place.
Now that I am almost two days in, the life around me is beginning to shift. It's kind of scary because all my priorities are kind of falling away, and I'm not sure what is important. It feels sort of like nothing is really important, and a deep part of me knows that to be true. There is nothing we need to hold onto, nothing to be afraid of. Not a thing in this world can get close to touching who you are. Time is moving in such a different rhythm, sort of like it isn't really here anymore. All that I am is right here and now. Who I am, who you are, is without time, space, thought, form. It is outside anything your mind can comprehend and you are completely safe.